epilogue: the longest shortest time
four years of compiling, crashing, and finally deploying.
Published • Dec - whatever, dates stopped mattering after midsems
so yeah… this is it.
four years.
done.
over.
rolled credits but no post-credit scene in sight.
there's a specific kind of silence that hits you when the war is finally over.
you know the one?
it's when the group chats finally stop blowing up about deadlines. when the placement cell stops sending panic-inducing emails. when the constant background hum of “what am i doing with my life” suddenly goes quiet.
exams: dusted.
offer letter: signed.
stress: 404 not found. (not quite actually. hehe!!)
technically, this is supposed to be the finishing podium lap. i should be celebrating.
but i'm just sitting here, surrounded by half-packed bags and a silence that feels too honest.
one part of me is already leaving; the other part refuses to believe it's over.
my phone gallery has turned into a large retro(feels old) kinda pin-board.
i'm photographing everything - the broken canteen fan, the 5 pm sunlight on the windows, the blurry laughs of people who won't all be in the same room again.
it's like my phone understands something my brain keeps dodging: i'm running out of tomorrows here.
some thoughts, while the server is still running:
- i'm gonna miss the chaos
the last-minute submissions, the “bro send codes fast” panic, the 2 a.m. hostel talks that started with dsa vs. webdev and somehow ended with deep trauma dumping.
- i'm gonna miss the people(aka - my people)
not just in the dramatic “friends forever” way, but in the soft, daily routine way.
the casual “kem palti?” in the hallway.
the specific noise of us entering a lecture hall.
the fact that i could walk into a friend's room and talk about nothing for three hours. that's the part that hurts-the "last times" you don't realize are last times until they're gone.
- grades feel laughably small now
for four years they felt like the entire universe.
now they feel like a side quest i overestimated.
- placements made me realise something terrifying:
you can prepare, grind, sharpen every skill you have…
and still feel not enough.
but you show up anyway.
and sometimes that's the only real win.
- i learnt more about myself in these four years than in the eighteen before that
how i handle pressure
how i spiral
how i recover
how i love people
how i lose people
how i rebuild
how i quietly dream bigger than i admit.
- shoutout to first-year me
we walked in here like nervous NPCs, scared of seniors and clueless about the map.
bro had no idea about OS deadlocks, existential crises, heartaches, and the yearly identity reset.
we wanted to grow up so bad. and now here we are, standing at the exit door, realizing that the "stressful days" were actually the "good old days" in disguise.
i've been wandering around the uni a lot this week. just walking.
trying to bottle up the smell of this place-that mix of rain, old books, cheap coffee, and ambition.
someday soon, i'll hand over my ID card, and i'll just be a guest in the place that gave us these precious memories.
future me, if you randomly stumble here:
did we figure it out?
did we finally stop comparing our journey to people on LinkedIn?
did we make peace with the stuff we never talk about?
if the answer is no… that's fine. just keep moving.
if the answer is yes, i'm proud of you.
so, if you see me staring at a random building or taking a blurry photo of the sky... just let me be.
i'm just trying to make the memory permanent before the cache clears.
scared.
hopeful.
unfinished.
and somehow, that feels okay.
peace.
jigar